My first love

These are my confessions. Not like Usher and his confes-forget it.

One of the biggest things about me is my devotion to Jim Carrey. He is my first love and the man who sealed my fate in becoming a comedian.

Now I know some people think he is crazy and too over the top and whatever. Think your wrong opinions all you want. I love him. With all of my beating heart.

Jim Carrey’s childhood was not the happiest. His family was very poor and they all had jobs working in a factory. His mom was sick a lot and he would always try and make her feel better by telling jokes or performing, just to get her to laugh.

When I see Jim Carrey, there’s an odd sensation that comes over me. Seeing him makes me feel like I’m coming home after being gone for a long time. Watching him makes me feel like I’ve found something I never realized was missing. Laughing at his antics makes me forget why I ever stop smiling. Part of it too is that it feels like I’m connecting with myself when I was little. That sounds weird. But it’s like watching Jim Carrey now, is the same way I felt about him when I was young. So it’s like a high five to myself across many years. That sounds weird too. Ugh, I am not good with expressing my thoughts today.  

I don’t know, there’s just something about Jim Carrey that stuck with me. I watched The Mask for the first time when I was 6 and that was it for me. I was mesmerized by his facial expressions and his ability to convey the most sincere emotions so effortlessly. I used to reenact scenes from The Mask on the playground when I was in first grade. But that’s neither here nor there.

Maybe it’s because comedy was Jim’s (yes we’re on first name basis) escape from reality when he was going through tough times or because he is so painful unique; there’s just something about him that draws me in every time and hold me so close.  

Someone told me that I remind them of him and it was one of the best compliments I ever received. If I have taken anything from my idol it’s his drive to make himself look like a fool and get everyone laughing. He has no shame twisting his face or body into something wonderful for the sake of getting a laugh.  

Sometimes when I watch Jim Carrey I get this ache in my heart. Like I know that what I’m watching is special. And that I might search forever, and never find an ache like the one he gives me.