Today is
one of those days where I feel like I will never amount to anything great.
Sweated profusely
all day. Watched House Bunny: hello Colin Hanks. Can I get a what what? Went
for a run. Got a slurpee. Finished reading my book. Took overthinking to an
entirely different definition. Overall just feeling stuck where I am. And once
again it all comes down to time.
Fucking
time.
I’ve come
into the feeling again that I got in college. The one that kept nagging at my
conscious mind that kept saying this isn’t
forever so don’t get invested. I’m feeling like that again now. So many
things I want to do but come the new year everything is changing in a major
way. So why get invested in events and people and things when I know I have to
say goodbye? It’s killing me to just wait around. But I don’t know if it’ll be
worse to get involved in stuff and know I can’t stay.
What if I do
just say ah fuck it and go balls
deep into everything, and I end up finding my place? Could I say goodbye? The
chances of me fitting into something that resembles belonging seems like a slim
probability here. So I’m just going to shut my thoughts out and not get
anxious.
In the
meantime, I will be reading, and running and trying not to consume my body
weight in Dairy Queen large vanilla cones. Stir fry sounds good though. Food
you call me to you once again you evil slut puppy!
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