Should have said this years ago

To whom it may concern:

Dear Alexa:

Listen fucktard:

Hi myself. This letter isn’t going to be some sappy string of positive sounding words. We don’t have time for that anymore. So here it is. No sugar coating it. Everyone knows you’re a Snickers bar away from diabetes as it is. I’m doing you a favor.

Stop, and this is an order, just STOP. Stop wishing things were different. Stop complaining about things that shouldn’t be more than a fleeting thought. And for the love of all things Jason Segel, STOP thinking you’re not making progress.  

Your 20s are supposed to be messy and unclear and awkward and a  journey of delicious discovery. Why are you ruining this time? Stop trying to be 40 years old. I promise, when you get there, you’ll be kicking yourself for growing up too fast.

So your job isn’t the most fulfilling. Stop pouting about it and do something productive. Find work for yourself. Do the best damn job you can on the responsibilities you’re given. Make friends with everyone at work but only trust a few. Smile more when you’re there. And if you need to, just watch a video of Seth McFarlane or Jim Carrey or Louis CK and get yourself focused on your life goals and the people doing what you want to do.

Stop psyching yourself out that you’re not good enough to run with the top dogs. You know that once you do get out there and push yourself, you succeed more than you imagined. SO STOP HESITATING and just be you. You’re doing the world a disservice keeping all that talent to yourself. If you keep ignoring your calling, you’re going to… just ….just don’t ignore it anymore. Okay? So again, STOP IT and just go do it. It’s all you wanted so why not make it all you are.  

If you’re protesting through any of this, I would like to say that any and all excuses coming out of your mouth is invalid. INVALID. I’m not listening. I see your lips moving but all I hear is the ocean and la-la-la-la.  

Trust me; you don’t have to be better than anyone else. You just have to be better than you were yesterday. You live in a world where anything could go wrong, but more importantly, everything can go right. So be exactly you and make a difference in a way only you were born to make.  

I think I got my point across. I totally....