I'm back baby

I feel like it’s a little weird that I’m Facebook creeping on my boyfriend’s pictures this morning. It’s mainly due to the fact that I miss him, despite him living 30 minutes away instead of a plane ride. It’s an odd feeling to miss someone so much when they’re so close to you. Maybe it’s the lack of true alone time you get with someone when you both still live with your parents. With me being sick for the past month, I’ve been so out of it that I haven’t been the best person to be around. Now that I am practically 100% better, all I want to do is make up for lost time.

I’ve gotten so much perspective from being sick. The fact that we waste so much time on trivial things wears on me even more than normal. So much time wasted at jobs that bring no fulfillment. So many hours spent doing activities that bring no joy. All I want to do is go somewhere warm with John and explore. I want to sit up late at night in a hammock and read until there are no more books to read. I want to wake up when I feel like it and actually feel like the day ahead of me is mine.

I want to live. Like really live. But after 24 years of being programmed to do what I’m supposed to do, I’m not sure if I know how to begin.