When it rains it pours

It’s been a shitty start to the year. Yeah I’ll say it. It has been. And it seems to be getting shittier. But what’s that saying? Something like it’ll get worse before it gets better. Or some new age mumbo-jumbo like that. Maybe that saying is true but maybe it’s just that we focus on the negative.

I know I’ve been doing that a lot lately. Almost like a running grocery list of aliments and shortcomings. But what I don’t whip out as much as I should is all the good things going on with me. Like that I am healthy. I have a (parental) roof over my head. A car that gets me from point A to point B. An absolutely incredible boyfriend who I can’t imagine my life without. A family that loves me more than anything. A goofy, lazy dog that loves to play tag with me. And a whole mess of ideas in this head that are revving up to spill out.

I told John this a few hours ago, I said that I feel lost again. Being the creative and witty genius he is he said “You take a medium in jackets right? Welcome to the club.” Although it was hilarious, it makes me sad too. Are we all just walking around lost? If you are lost, does that mean you once weren't?  How do we get back to knowing what the hell we’re doing? How do we find the courage and strength to hold on until things are right side up again?