Here are some of the answers I’m starting
to use when people ask/talk to me about finding a job.
1.
How’s the job search going?
It’s
the only thing in life worth getting up for in the morning. I really wish I could
spend the rest of my days waking up and getting constantly ignored because of
my 1) age 2) work experience 3) lack of motivation. I honestly think I would
have better luck putting my resume in a bottle and throwing it out to sea.
2.
Have you looked online or asked
around?
What?
What’s online? Oh. Oh you mean that internet thing? No. I don’t use computers
or anything electronic. Have you seen The Terminator? Which one? I don’t know,
two and three? Yeah the first one is good too. It’s a classic.
3.
What are you looking to do?
To collect a heafty check for not doing anything. I’m looking to hang out with celebrities and
potentially get a free membership to the gym. Preferably one with a pool.
4.
Well I’m sure something will come up,
I’ll keep my eye out for you.
You
won’t but thanks for pretending you will.
5.
At least you have a part-time gig,
my (insert relative they are relating you to here) doesn't even have that!
Sure.
But as a part-time gig I make barely more than I used to when I got my
childhood allowance. How is your (insert relative they are relating you to
here)? Is he/she still hot? Are they still dating what’s-his/her-face? I’ve got
a job they can do (insert eye contact that clearly means you were talking about
sex).
6.
Oh you and your boyfriend want to
move in together? You’ll need a job to do that.
No
shit. I wish I would have figured that out before we got our hearts set on the
mansion/castle we put in an offer for.
7.
I know you’re trying. Just keep
plugging away at it and you’ll find something eventually.
Hey Alexa, I've got a job you can do ;) (Okay, it's more like an internship since I won't pay you, but you'll get lots of experience and free pizza once a week.)
ReplyDeleteAlso, during the eight months when I was working part-time and searching for a full-time job post-college, my step-mom went so far as to ask me what I had been wearing to interviews... "Whatever I woke up in that day" was my response. So at least people aren't questioning whether or not you can dress yourself properly.
Sierra I will do any job you give me ;) Pizza is more than I've ever been offered so I will start immediately.
DeleteMy mom does the same thing about my outfit. I like to tell her I "forgot" to shower and swore at the interview person. She just tells me I'll never move out. #FreeRent.
If I'm 100% honest with myself, the happiest I've ever been was when I was unemployed for a summer. Then, I accepted a job offer for a position that I hate and I've been struggling not to just run away ever since. I don't care what anybody says, be picky about your criteria for a job. Don't make the same mistake I did and take a job just because "it's something." You could be making all of the money in the world, but if you dread getting out of bed every morning, it's just not worth it.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being honest because I feel the exact same way. I really disliked my last job, to the point I would be in tears every morning. Being let go was one of the greatest reliefs in the world. I'm enjoying being unemployed because it gives you time to figure out what you want to do. I know that most of what's available is nothing of interest to me.
DeleteAs for your situation, I'm sorry things are rough with your job. My only advice is to find something to brighten your day while you're there waiting for the clock to move. Going on Pinterest always helped me. Or writing in my journal.