I made some money today

I sold some of my old clothes and books today and various stores. Made a hefty $32. If only they could pay me per minute for procrastination and sleeplessness. In light of getting up and doing something productive today [got my unemployment settled. Oops on my part], I decided to get a slurpee and peruse the guilty pleasure tabloid magazines.

My favorite part about trashy magazines [beside the section Stars!: They’re just like us!] are the photoshoots with whatever starlit is gracing this month’s cover. I saw a picture of Lauren Conrad and didn’t even recognize her. I figured she hadn’t gone cocaine chic, but had been in fact, plagued by photoshop. Her cheekbones were fabulous.

I can’t believe there isn’t a diet out there yet called the Photoshop Makeover, where young girls do whatever it takes to actually look like the covers of these magazines. As I pondered over this, a bag of Cheetos distracted me. It took almost four minutes for me to talk myself out of the cheesy goodness and reconsider the Photoshop diet. 

It’s sad that of all the pictures I Googled to find these, there were none of men. I feel sorry for all the little girls out there who will eventually buy into this fantasized reality.