You are what you pretend to be

I’ve always been petrified of Halloween. I am not ashamed to say that I sometimes pretended to be sick so I wouldn’t have to beg for candy at strangers’ doors and be scared by fake chainsaws. I always used Halloween to dress up as who I wished I was. Like when I was 6 I was the Red Power Ranger. I was a basketball player one year and a doctor for another. When I got to college I experienced Halloween as what I refer to as “Hot-oween” aka let’s dress like sluts and drink jello shots. No thank you. Nothing gets my balls stirring like going against the norm so when everyone was slutty Cinderella and Strawberry Shortcake, I went as a pumpkin. I made my roommates stop at every grass knolls so I could sit in it and just be a pumpkin. Needless to say, I had a blast.

My absolute favorite costume is when I went as Jim Halpert from The Office. A few items found at Goodwill followed by a hefty wig cut and BAM! I was perfect. We were at a few parties that year and everyone thought I was really a boy. Still not sure if I’m bothered by this fact. Anyhow, the best part was when we were walking through campus and people were stopping us, yelling Oh my god Jim and Dwight! We even took a few pictures with strangers who were so drunk they thought we were the real thing.