Ah hello week three of unemployment

As we enter in to the third week of my laid-off-ness, one thing is apparent: this sucks. Sure sure, it’s nice to be able to wake up when I want [usually around 8 then a quick nap from 8-noon]. And yeah, it’s nice to make my own agenda or hang out with John during the day. Yes it’s nice to get a work out in around 10am instead of 6pm [if only I could convince myself to leave the house to work out]. But overall, it sucks.

Being unwanted by the corporate world is just as much of a bummer as being employed by the corporate world and being unwanted. Not sure which is worse at this point. Oh yeah, the one where I don’t get paid.

I just finished another Steve Martin book, Object of Beauty. Great read, well listen, because I audiobooked it. I’ve been to the library twice this week already. Today I found myself driving around aimlessly just for something to do. I feel like Liz Lemon when she says she showers just to occupy her time. [I’ve started to do that as well.]

I should probably eat something today. All I’ve had is a hot chocolate from 7-11 and there is a Code Red Mountain Dew desperately chilling for me in the fridge. I’m not really hungry though. Nothing actually sounds good. The thought of eating, quite honestly, makes me want to puke shards of my broken soul out into the abyss. Have I gone too emo?

Goofy pup

I feel like my dog Jackson is sympathizing with my emotions. He just sits next to me and gives me those big eyes. Maybe he just wants a treat. Dirty scoundrel. Oh now he’s licking his own pee area. Nice. Maybe I’m giving him too much credit for being my therapist every day and listening. All he probably hears through the sobs is wah wah wah wah yourenotgettingatreat wah wah wah. Dogs are like trophy wives, they know what the good life is: find someone who will feed you, give you a bit of exercise and let you lounge around all day while making sure you never have to pay for a single thing. [As I’m typing this, I thought Jackson was asleep next to me. I sniffled and feel his little nose poke into my leg and then he rests his whole head on my thigh. He’s never really done that before. Stupid dog making me cry. Now he’s growling at his own ass. Such is life.]

  

Maybe I should be productive and get some pages written. Motivation is hard to come by, especially in the winter. More so when your purpose in life is undefined. Might as well go on the elliptical and read one of the many books I got today from the library.