Yeah I know Lent started already

It’s no real surprise or shock that I’m not super religious. One of my favorite jokes I’ve written is that the Bible has more plot holes than the movie The Lake House [starring the ever wonderful Sandra Bullock and my boy Keanu Reeves]. I’m not saying you can’t be religious or I hate people who are. I do believe that you have to have faith in something to keep you going through rough times. I believe more in karma and the chaotic universe than anything else.

But I do like the idea of Lent and giving up something for 40 days.

It's like the fashion world's version of Tales from the Crypt

I wanted to give up pop, mainly Cherry Coke, but sometimes it’s the only bright spot of my day. I was going to give up caring about anything, but then I realize I have a boyfriend, and not caring about anything includes hygiene. I would like to keep said boyfriend for a long time, so no go on that. Then I thought I would give up staying up late. Didn’t work either. Give up worrying? Yeah, I’ve been trying that one for eons.

So what do I love more than John? Okay okay, equal to or less than John? Food. So maybe in my quest to look like Kate Upton [I know, I’m laughing too], I’ll just eat once a day. Or split my days into sleeping and writing. No food in between. It’s a win for everyone except McDonald’s and Taco Bell. But on the bright side, my cheekbones are going to be able to cut granite. And those ribs? Oh yeah baby, just slather on some BBQ sauce and have at it.

Clearly I’m joking. But then again, maybe I’m not.