For what it's worth

I’m really goofy. Like, throw-off-your-train-of-thought goofy. I don’t really mind being the butt of a joke. I don’t mind taking endless jabs if it’ll make you laugh. Make fun of me, laugh at my expense. If you’re laughing, I don’t care. As long as I am the cause.

There’s a lot of things about me that I wish I could change. Most of them are physical things. Actually, all of them are. Which makes me happy. Because WHO I am and WHAT I stand for and HOW I act toward people is what is really important. And I’m really proud of those features on myself.

I’ve realized that I’m a wear your heart on your sleeve kind of girl. If I like you, you’re going to know. If I’m hurt by something you said or did, you’re going to know. But I also forgive those I care about and love. A lot of people tell me that I fall too hard, give too much and adore too quick.

But that’s just who I am.

If I know someone is right, why would I waste time not giving them everything I have? Yes I know that isn’t the smartest choice because that’s how you get hurt. But I don’t care. I’m not going to hold back because I’m scared or because you don’t reciprocate. I’m going to tell you I like you. A lot. And often.

Because it’s the truth.

I’m all about honesty. I don’t have time to waste on mind games. I want to spend that time enjoying our time together. I’m also not one to share either….but that’s a post for another day. Jeez, I feel like my thoughts are all over the place this week but I guess what I’m trying to say is this.

I’m not like every other girl out there. I’m different. I don’t take 5 hours to go out for the night, I will more than likely get water over a drink, I will laugh too long, listen too long, care for you more than anyone could ever have the energy for, I will always be there, I won’t keep you on a short leash (or any lease for that matter), I will always support you, I will always push you to be the best person you can be, I will never give up on you, I will wake up every day with a smile knowing we're together, I will make funny faces at you to get you to smile, I will light up when I see you, I will kiss you when you’re mad at me, I will kiss you when I’m mad at you, I will always have your back, I will feel safe knowing I’m falling asleep in your arms….I could go on but I won’t…just know this….

I will do anything for you….if you’re willing to give me a chance.

I make a lot of mistakes. My feelings cloud my judgement. My feelings make me overthink a lot. But that's just who I am. I'm willing to get hurt. Over and over and over again. Because it's worth it. Always. I'm just looking for someone who thinks I'm worth it. Always.

I say a lot of shitty things sometimes because I speak from the heart. Sometimes sadness comes out, sometimes it's sharp anger. But if I'm still talking to you after you've hurt me, it means I haven't given up. 

You don't have to give me a reason to stay. I already have one. It's you.