Monday, August 20, 2012

This is the hour and we are the ones we have been waiting for

Dear 13 year old Alexa-

Hi darling. Listen, I want you to hang in there. You have a lot (and I mean A LOT) of rough years ahead of you but I want you to know one thing, it’s all worth it.

Now if you don’t want a spoiler alert for everything that’s about to happen, stop reading. But I know you and I know you are impatient in the best kind of way. That’s why I want to let you know, even if you are feeling lousy and defeated right now, life will turn out exactly how you imagined and wanted it to. And I’m not even being sarcastic right now.

Look, high school is going to be rough. You’ll be so busy with sports and homework that there won’t be much time for anything else. You’ll have some really severe crushes on older boys that won’t amount to anything (this is a good thing, promise). You’ll be the captain of the volleyball and basketball teams. Congrats on working your ass off for those spots. You’ll go through a few groups of friends and some will stick.

College will be an eye opener to how much you can do when you believe in yourself. It’s in college that you meet the beginning of your destiny with standup, acting, comedy and writing. It won’t seem like a major deal when you’re in the mist of it, but sweetie, I promise this is the first step to what you want. You’ll go through two boyfriends and they won’t amount to anything serious despite the years in the relationships. Again, this is a good thing. Trust me. You’ll meet a friend who will share your secret love for the Twilight phenomenon and you guys will have a lasting bond that follows you for years to come. Don’t be an asshole and mess up that friendship. I know you won’t though because he’s the first person that really believed in you.

After college, things get rough for awhile again. Shaky relationships, losing yourself in self-doubt, working a shitty retail job and making next to no money. You are not a failure. Like we both know, we’re slow warmers and it takes time for us to find our stride. But when we do, nothing can stop us. You’ll meet some really funny people working retail. None of those friendships will last but that’s okay. Then you’ll enter (finally) into the business world. Prepare to work your ass off for about 8 months. It’s shitty work and your mind will feel like it’s collapsing on itself but it’ll pay off.

You’ll start taking improv classes. This is the time where your life changes. Everything will click into place from here on out. Improv. Comedy. That is your calling. Jump head first into it and soak up everything. You’ll find the confidence you thought would never come and end the toxic relationship. Fast forward a few months and you’ll date a couple of guys. (Yes, I know. Guys will be coming at you like never before. This is due to your confidence. Fucking own it.)

You’ll get promoted and start doing more of what you got your degree in. It’s a stepping stone and you’ll learn a lot about yourself and what you want your career to be. Growing pains suck and we both know how much we despise not being taken seriously or casted off as too young. DON’T let it bring you down. You are worth so much more than where you are now. Learn every day and grow as a writer, because Lex, you totally got this. I promise. You, yes you, are going to make a difference one day. Each day needs to be taken seriously. I know it’s a heavy challenge but please don’t give up on your talents and please don’t let lesser people hinder your spirit.

Two more failed relationships will lead you to the one. And I just want to point out that you don’t deserve the one. You really don’t. Second chances don’t come around often and you are luckier than all hell he waited for you to stop being a goddamn moron. Listen, I don’t like yelling at you about this, but I feel like I must. Any sacrifice for him is worth it so you need to be brave.

Your comedy career is in full bloom. Your improv troupe Count Spatula is the talk of the suburbs. You and your best friend Mallory are owning the stage with sketch and performing. Don’t let her go. She’s the best friend you’ve always wanted.  

And that is everything you have to look forward to that I know of right now. I know from here on out the future for us is even brighter than we could have imagined. Just be prepared to be brave and struggle for awhile. Don’t fear the unknown. Don’t let money make you hesitate. Follow the sun and ocean. Follow him wherever he goes.

You have good things ahead of you. I am where I am because of you. And I’m so proud of how strong you are. You magnificent, stupid, head-in-the-clouds, imaginative, smart girl who never stopped believing in herself.

I just want you to know that it’s all worth it. Oh my god is it worth it.

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